Graduation

Today was graduation complete with certificates and lunch.  The bibis brought their grandchildren to help them celebrate.  It certainly feels strange to be saying, "Good by..."  The group was extremely grateful for the experience and Fatuma reported that she had already been hearing how the bibis were sharing the material with their friends.  It was especially nice to meet their grandchildren and to see who belonged to who.  The day completed with a lovely farewell song of thanks to us.  We are posting only a few of the graduation photos.

Beach Day

Bongoyo Island is only 7km from Dar and another world.... You know you are getting fresh fish when you ask the server what the catch of the day is and he tells you he won't know until the fisherman returns...

The Farm

Fatuma has purchased this land to build a farm for at least 2 bibis.  This is  a work in progress that she hopes will help the bibis to become self-supporting.  We visited the farm today.

Sad Beginning

Just as we were getting started with today's group, a baby was found in  a basket right outside of the school. The baby was dead and had been left there sometime during the night.  According to the bibis and to Dickson, this is not unusual as young girls leave babies that they cannot raise, often they are ashamed of the pregnancy.  It was unclear how the bibis felt about it, perhaps they too are accustomed to it happening. They were very interested in today's topic on drugs which is a major concern in Dar.  They had many questions and comments regarding their concerns for their grandchildren.  Cocaine seems to be a drug of choice among teens.  The topic of dealing with loss and how children and adults differ brought forth a lot of discussion as the group shared their own personal experiences. They share a lot in common with other grandmothers raising their grandchildren in that they are all dealing with grief and the challenging task of explaining loss to the children.

Let's Talk About Sex

This was really a hot session....actually it was about 90 degrees in the room and there was no power so there were no fans ....whew....but the bibis were really interested in the subject and how to discuss it with the grandkids....The usual way is to tell children that babies come from shops.  This started the discussion which eventually evolved into condoms and how to use them (see photos).  I think that we learned as much as we taught since the subject is so filled with traditions and customs.  The class was very lively and the bibis didn't want it to end.  Many were hesitant about role playing but then got into it with gusto!  Particularly rewarding was that one bibi asked for the lecture notes that Dickson had translated into Swahili so that they could have them at home.

The bibis are really beginning to share their experiences in the group and to discuss the problems that they have with their grandchildren.  They are listening to each other and offering each other advice and support. They also report that they are trying some new approaches at home with the grandchildren, particularly in terms of communication and listening to them. They gave examples in the group of how they had talked with the children after school.  The discussion of behavior problems became very complex as some of the bibis talked about how the behavior is more difficult when there is no food for the children.  If they come home from school and there is no rice in the house, they become angry and upset which leads to more problems.  This really presents a challenge for the role of "empowerment" in their lives.

Mbgala